


The Heartfelt Prayer

by AngelicDemon_or_DemonicAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, I cried while writing this, M/M, s15e9: The Trap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:36:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29531388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicDemon_or_DemonicAngel/pseuds/AngelicDemon_or_DemonicAngel
Summary: A prayer can be a very strong thing if you pray with everything you have. There will be some things you can't say, but they'll be heard anyways. Dean only wishes to have Cas back when he loses him in Purgatory. Again. Will he find his angel in time before the Rift closes and will he share how he truly feels mentally or out loud?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam winchester/ eileen leahy
Kudos: 11





	The Heartfelt Prayer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Latter_alice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latter_alice/gifts).



> This work was written for the 7th Profound Bond Exchange with the theme as 'Reunion'. So, this isn't my first spn work, but it's the first one I've posted. Mind you, this isn't Beta'd so any mistakes are mine and mine alone. I own none of these characters (no matter how much I wish to, I would've given them a happier ending). Alright, enough said. I sincerely hope you enjoy. I did my best while crying writing this for you : D

Michael’s voice is gruff as he speaks to Dean and Castiel. “I will help you. What was done in the darkness can be done to God.” He slides a parchment across the table towards them. “That’s the spell. To bind the spell together, you’ll need nectar from a Leviathan blossom.”

Dean stares at Michael slightly confused. “What is that, like a flower?”

“A flower that only grows in one place. Purgatory.” The snap of Michael’s fingers echoes in the room and a rift appears behind him. “That’s the door. It’ll remain open for 12 hours.”

Dean flits his gaze to Cas from the corner of his eye, looking nervous as he looks back at the rift. Cas’s own face was etched with worry as he too looked at the entryway to Purgatory. Neither one of them wanted to step foot in there ever again. Dean didn’t want to lose Cas again, not like he did the first time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Cas uneasily walk into Purgatory, both of them armed with a flashlight and Dean armed with a gun. The rift glows behind them, the only other light around them besides their flashlights in the darkness of Purgatory. Dean’s the first to speak as he looks around, looking for signs of movement. “I mean, how the hell are we supposed to even know what we’re looking for here?” He glances to his right sharply before looking behind himself. “You know, Michael coulda done us a solid and drawn us a picture.”

Cas stares forward into the woods, his own eyes sharp. "You know, of the all the time I spent in Purgatory, I've never seen a bloom of any kind."

Dean scoffs softly under his breath. “Yeah. Exactly.”

“Well, if we see it, we’ll know. It’s likely to be the only flower here.” Cas clears his throat a bit, and Dean shoots him a flat look like _‘no shit Sherlock’_ before looking ahead again and he readjusts his hold on his gun. “Alright. Well, maybe we’ll run into Benny.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the timer he set to see 10 hours, 48 minutes, and 56 seconds remaining from the original 12. “He’s probably king of this place by now.” He flicks his gaze around. “Okay. Let’s split up.”

“What?”

“You go that way.” Dean points to the left. “I’ll go this way.” He points to the right this time. “We’ll meet back at the Rift, alright? We’ll cover more ground. We’ll better our odds.”

Cas’s voice is laced with a little sass as he stares at Dean like he’s stupid for even mentioning the idea. “Yeah. We’ll also improve our odds of getting lost or killed.” He looks at Dean who’s staring straight ahead, his head held high before looking at Cas and nearly rolling his eyes. “Come on.” Castiel merely starts walking forward, Dean a couple steps behind.

The further they go, the more snarling and growling they here from the residents of Purgatory. Dean is about four paces behind Cas, keeping an eye on him and their surroundings as they continue forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas is a few steps behind Dean now, both of them on high alert as they can feel things watching them through the trees. Dean sweeps the light across the ground and it goes over a corpse. “I think we’re going around in circles. We’ve seen this corpse before.” Both Cas and Dean glance around the area.

“No, Dean, my sense of direction is excellent. That’s a different corpse.”

Dean’s brows furrow as he peers around before crouching down beside the body, analytically looking at it. “I don’t know…” As Dean is crouched down, a monster steps out from behind a tree dressed entirely in black, staring at them both. He slowly sneaks up behind them, hunger written all over his face. Rows of sharp teeth show as the Leviathan snarls loudly, Dean starting to turn into a defensive position. The Leviathan lunges towards Cas who throws a hand out, shoving the monster away easily. He turns and looks at Dean who’s staring at him, now standing up completely. “You’re right. It is a different corpse.” They both walk over to the Leviathan who’s groaning a bit in pain, rolling slightly on the ground.

“We saw you following us.” Cas’s voice is rough as he stares down at the monster and Dean steps closer, the gun pointed at him. “Thought you’d never make your move.”

“What do you want?” The dark haired man stares up at them both, his voice filled with annoyance.

Dean’s lips purse slightly. “Well, it’s a little embarrassing saying it out loud, but we’re looking for a flower.”

“A flower? What do I look like, a florist?” The man lets out a sharp breath as he makes to stand up.

Dean crouches down again, this time not in front of a corpse, but the Leviathan. “Well, if you can’t help us, see this broomstick?” He motions the gun in his hands. “It’s loaded with Borax-filled shells. You know what Borax does to piranha-faced freaks like you? I’d be happy to show you.”

The Leviathan chuckles softly, shaking his head. “We don’t call it a flower. There’s a blossom. Grows out of the soil when we die.”

Castiel looks at him, one eyebrow raised in confusion. “When...Leviathan die?”

“Oh, okay. Cool.” Dean stands back up and cocks the gun.

“I- Hey! The body has to rot. It can take months. And then these blossoms bloom. 10 husks, bloody red centers. I know a place. Not far.” He points in a vague direction. Dean tilts his head, a slight crooked grin on his face, “And look at that. Thought you weren’t a florist.” His facial expression becomes serious again. “Get up.”

The dark haired monster grunts as he stands up from the ground and lets out a sigh. As the Leviathan starts to walk forward, Dean grabs his arm tightly, his voice low. “Wait.” Cas stares at Dean curiously.

“You know a Vamp around here named Benny? Burly guy, Cajun?”

“No.”

Cas glances away from Dean again to the monster.

“Heard of him though. Everybody has. The guy who got out and then came back. Like an idiot.”

“Pretty much. Where is he?” There’s a sharpness to Dean’s green eyes as he questions the monster.

“Dead. Long time ago. His own kind- they didn’t trust him, and they- ksch!- ripped him apart. “ He makes a small hand motion with the noise.

Dean shoves him forward harshly. “Move.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They’re walking along a wide path, the Leviathan in front, Dean and Cas walking side by side. A river is to their right and the forest to their left. The wind whistles softly as they walk, a bit of chilliness biting at them. Cas sounds a bit remorseful when he finally speaks up after a while. “Sorry about Benny.”

There’s a steely hardness to Dean’s jaw, firmness in his voice. “I owed him my life. And he sacrificed himself to get Sam out of this place.”

“Well, this place will bring that out in you.” Cas’s footsteps are heavy, leaves crunching under his shoes. “Guilt.” He minutely shakes his head. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day.”

Dean looks at the forest again, his pace matching Cas’. “I know you’re sorry, Cas. About Bel, about Mom.”

“I was talking about Jack.” He turns his head and looks at Dean, who merely glances at him before looking away again. Cas shakes his head again. “I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it.” There’s a little waiver of pain crossing his face.

Dean’s face is stoic and he doesn’t look at the angel beside him. “Sorry I brought it up. Maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us.”

“You didn’t give me a choice.” There’s an edge of frustration seeping into Castiel’s voice. “You couldn’t forgive me, and you couldn’t move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn’t stop me.”

They both fall silent and continue walking, both now refusing to look at each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what feels like an age of walking, the Leviathan raises his arms, his voice a little sassy. “It’s up this way.” Lo and behold, they come to a clearing where Leviathan blossoms are. “Just like I promised.”

Cas steps up from behind Dean, eyeing the strange plants. “Leviathan blossom.”

“Alright, well, grab one. Let’s get the hell out of here.” Dean keeps a tight grip on his gun as he looks around. Cas steps closer to the blossoms and immediately stops with a grunt. “Cas?”

Said angel huffs angrily. “It’s an angel trap.” He whirls around to the Leviathan, an accusing look on his face. “You tricked us.”

The monster lets out a soft laugh. “Mother’s got beef with you.” Cas looks to Dean. “Eve.” The Leviathan keeps talking. “Killing all her alphas, swallowing her Leviathan. Bringing you to her should earn us a nice reward.”

“What do you mean ‘us’?” Dean has his gun raised up to shoot.

“Dean!” The word is full of warning and said man turns around when he hears growling and snarling behind him. A monster comes up behind Dean and Dean swings the gun. They wrestle a bit with it and Dean manages to knock him down and shoot him. One minute, Dean is looking at Cas, and the next, he is turning at the look of fear on his angel’s face only to get hit across the back of his head and knocked out.

When Dean comes to, all of the blossoms in the area have been burned to a crisp, nothing left behind, smoke just wafting into the air. Dean groans and touches the back of his head as he sits up and he notices the blossoms are all gone. “No.” He grunts as he forces himself to stand. “Cas?” He looks all around but there’s no one in sight. “Cas!”

Dean wanders through Purgatory, this time alone, still searching for Cas, yelling out his name, hoping for some sort of response or something. “Cas!” The wind whistles again through the trees, branches creaking softly in the breeze. Dean’s eyes are wide with fright and he pauses, pulling his phone out to check the timer again. It shows that there’s only 29 minutes and 55 seconds remaining till the Rift closes. He exhales heavily, his green eyes dull and slowly filling with pain at the thought of not finding Castiel in time. “No, no, no.” His throat clicks as he swallows heavily, his eyes burning. He gasps softly as an idea forms in his mind. He steps forward, bracing himself against a tree, looking up to the dreary sky, his eyes watery. “Cas?” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “Cas, I hope you can hear me…” He takes a second to collect himself before continuing. “...that wherever you are, it’s not too late.” Dean takes in a shuddering breath, licking his dry lips. “I should’ve stopped you... You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.” He exhales sharply, his gaze flicking to the ground for a moment.

His hand clenches into a fist against the tree. Dean’s jaw trembles slightly and he clenches his eyes shut, hoping tears don’t spill like rain down his face. He sniffles softly, taking a moment to look at his surroundings before he slowly kneels down on the ground on one knee. “I- ohh. I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know- I know that it’s- i-it’s just always been there.” Dean draws in a shaky breath, sniffling again. “And when things go bad, it just- it comes out. And I can’t- I can’t stop it.” A tear slowly drips from his eye, his voice cracking terribly. “No matter how-” There’s a tremor in his voice now.. “How bad I want to, i just can’t stop it. And- and I- I forgive you. Of course I forgive you.” His voice is firm with that statement, wanting Cas to hear just how much he means it. “I’m sorry it took me so long- I’m sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I’m- I’m so sorry.” His nose twitches as he tries to fight back more tears from coming. “Man, I hope you can hear me.” What goes unsaid in the prayer is a simple _‘I love you. I love you so damn much it hurts and I want you back Cas, please.’_ “I hope you can hear me.” He sniffs again, shaking his head. He wipes his eyes before standing up. “Okay.” Dean keeps walking on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean’s walking through the woods, still searching for any sign of Castiel. He stops and checks the timer again which now reads 2 minutes, 57 seconds. He frowns and starts walking again, his facial expression full of despair.

“Dean.” Said hunter turns quickly, cocking his gun before realizing that its Cas. He immediately lowers the gun gun, his eyes filling with happiness and confusion. “Cas?”

Cas exhales heavily, his temples throbbing a bit and bleeding. “You made it.”

“I made it?”

Cas breathes out heavily as he staggers towards Dean, falling into the embrace he pulls him into. The hunter inhales softly before letting out a shaky breath and patting Cas’s shoulder. Cas looks and feels relieved to see Dean and be in his arms for a moment. Dean finally pulls back, leaving a hand on Cas’s other shoulder to help keep him balanced. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Dean sounds distraught as he stares at the angel before him.

  
  


“They were after me, not you. I figured it would be safest to give myself up.” Cas lets out another heavy breath.

“They take you to Eve?”

“Yeah. We were en route. I waited until I…” Cas pulls a Leviathan blossom from his coat. “...saw this.” Dean’s gaze flits between Cas’s face and the blossom. “It got a little smushed.”

The hunter lets out a chuckle and Cas continues talking. “Once I had the blossom, i fought, caught them off guard. They fought back. I managed to get away.”

“You did it. You did it Cas.” Dean smiles at him slightly.

“Well, they’re still after me. We should hurry.” Cas motions along the path and Dean immediately glances around, worried.

“Okay, Cas, I need to say something.” There is a very faint tremble in his voice, but he pushes on.”

“You don’t have to say it. I heard your prayer.” He looks at Dean a bit fondly and Dean works his bottom jaw, grinding his teeth a little. They gaze at each other, trying to find the real words to say; Dean wanting to know if Cas heard his soft, unspoken declaration of love for the angel. They break off the stare, Dean swallowing heavily, and Cas starts walking on. The emerald-eyed man stares after him longingly before slowly following after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they make it back to the bunker, Cas and Dean immediately begin working on the spell, grinding up the leviathan blossom and adding it to the mixture of other ingredients. Cas’s low, rumbling voice starts the incantation. “Zee-loh-dah-rup, ah-lahr, zee-sohp, ah-buh-rah-muh-jzh, ahm-ee-zuh-pee-” Cas raises the blades above his hand which is hovering over the bowl and Dean immediately stops him. “Wait. Wait. Wait. Are you sure?”

“Dean, you’ve already taken the mark. You can’t take it again.” His eyes are a little watery as he looks over Dean’s face. “I can. It’s the only way.” He slices his hand open and squeezes the blood into the bowl. Dean grabs a small jar off the table, dumping a bit of the ingredients inside of it, the contents sizzling and a blue-tinted smoke rises from the bowl. Cas holds a small ball over the bowl as the remnants of the blossom begin to sizzle and the smoke slowly whooshes upwards and into the orb. Dean watches it with a strange, almost fascinated look on his face. The ball is filled and Cas pulls it closer to himself, turning it in his hand a bit, just staring at it. “Because I’m taking the Mark, someone else will have to destroy this.” His stare is firmly back on Dean again. “You or Sam.” He pockets it and Dean gives a slight nod.

The tires of the Impala screech on the wet road as Dean drives quickly to the casino where Sam’s phone said they were at, the radio not even turned on. When Cas and Dean get there, they slowly walk in, looking for Sam. They glance around before looking at each other, nodding to move forward, not liking this one bit. Dean comes across Sam first seeing his brother zip-tied to the chair.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice sounded surprised. Dean goes wide-eyed and rushes over. “Help. Help me!”

“Hey. Where’s Chuck?” Dean already has a knife in his hand and he starts cutting Sam loose.

“I don’t know. He’s close.” Sam looks between his brother and around at the slot machines watching for Chuck. Dean stands after cutting the first one off and Sam jolts in his chair. “Watch out!”

Dean turns slightly and Eileen clocks Dean in the back of the head with a shovel, the older hunter falling onto the ground with a pissed off look on his face. He immediately gets back up and starts fighting off Eileen who’s know holding the scalpel from earlier. Cas sweeps in and takes Eileen to the ground. Sam grabs the knife that his brother dropped earlier and Chuck pops in behind Dean. Dean swings and punches God who’s head just goes with the movement, his body staying still before looking back at him with a _‘Really?’_ look on his face.

“You know I had to.” Dean’s panting softly and he grits his teeth a little.

God just nods before taking a swing of his own, a sharp uppercut that sends Dean sprawling to the floor with a loud “Ugh!”

Chuck merely shrugs. “Me too.”

Dean looks at him affronted, his jaw sore as hell now. Sam cuts himself free and Cas holds something up towards Dean’s brother. “Sam.” He rolls it to him, Chuck watching interestedly at what it is.

“Sam, smash it. Now!” Dean’s voice is now even rougher than earlier. Sam grabs it off the floor, standing up and breathing heavily. He stares at Dean, worry and pain in his eyes.

“Well Sam?” Chuck gives him a knowing look.

Sam grunts softly, his breathing still rough, baring his teeth slightly at Chuck in anger before looking down at the simple orb in his palm. He makes like he’s about to smash it and then slowly lowers his hand, just staring at it.

“Sam!” Dean shouts at his young brother, wondering what the hell he’s doing.

Said brother exhales heavily and takes a step back before dropping to his knees and the orb rolls across the floor again, this time to Chuck. “I can’t.”

“What?” The green-eyed hunter sounds astonished as his brother’s words.

Sam’s eyes are watering slightly. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I…” Dean and Cas look at him confused. “I just can’t.”

Realization crosses Dean’s face and he looks at Chuck sharply. “What did you do to him?”

Chuck looks like he’s about to reply before a soft ‘whooshing’ sound happens and he grunts softly and presses against his shoulder wound. Sam clutches in the same spot, a strangled noise leaving him. God lets out a soft sigh of what sounds like relief. “Ahh! Yeah! Oh, man.” He’s rotating his shoulder fully and chuckles. “Whew! Yeah, that’s the stuff.”

Cas quickly lets go of Eileen and stands. “What happened?” Sam rotates his own, a fearful look on his face. Chuck addresses Cas for a moment. “Um, short version- Sammy lost hope, and now I’m free. Hey, take it easy on the kid. It took a lot to beat it out of him.”

Dean very slowly stands up, silent anger radiating off of him. Eileen gets up slowly beside Cas as well. Chuck leans down and grabs the ball off the floor and rolls it in his hand and Cas gives him a strange look. He stretches his arm out, gripping the orb tightly till a crackling sound is heard and Dean goes from angry to afraid. “No.” Chuck completely crumbles the orb, the blue smoke swirling in the air now. “No!” Dean shouts angrily, watching the ashes of it crumble onto the floor. He slowly glances back up at Chuck. “Well, what now? You’re not gonna dust us.”

“Oh yeah? Why not?” God looks at Dean curiously as to why he’d say that.

“Because you’re holding out. For your big finish. Yeah, we know about your galaxy-brained idea, how you think this story is gonna go. Sam got a little look into your draft folder.”

“Sam’s vision- they weren’t drafts. They were memories.” After a small pause, Chuck continues. “My memories. Other Sams and other Deans in other worlds. But guess what. Just like you, they didn’t they’d do it, either. But they did. And you will too.” He nods slightly as he’s talking.

Sam tries to hold off from crying and Dean shakes his head. “No.” He chuckles lowly and steps forward a bit. “Not this Sam.” He takes another step. “And not this Dean.” He continues walking up to Chuck and Sam’s watery gaze watches him. “So you go back to Earth 2 and play with your other toys.” He’s leaning over Chuck, talking down to him, a scowl set deep on his face. “Because we will never give you the ending that you want.”

Chuck looks him over for a moment, lightly out a slightly scoffing breath. “We’ll see.” He vanishes and Dean lets out a heavy sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eileen zips her bag closed and then hoists it onto her shoulder, still gripping the strap as she walks to Sam who’s near the bottom of the stairs. “I wish you’d stay.”

Her soft voice carries through the air and she signs with her other hand. “I wish I could. After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

Sam sighs softly and slowly cups her right cheek in his left hand, making her look at him with tears clouding her vision a little, before cupping her other cheek as well, sniffling softly. He leans down and kisses her softly, holding for a moment before just pressing their foreheads together. He swiftly kisses her again, her fingers on her left hand grazing his jaw gently. He finally pulls back a bit and they smile sadly at each other. Sam is the next one to speak. “I know that was real.” He gently touches her shoulders, his head bobbing softly and he wipes under her eyes, catching a lone tear that fell. She touches his cheek with gentle fingers, Sam watching her sadly before she pulls her own hand away and walks around him, heading up the stairs that lead to the door of the bunker. She gives Sam one last little glance before leaving.

Cas and Dean are sitting in the kitchen at the little wooden table and Dean has tumbler of whiskey in front of him. Sam slowly comes around the corner which makes the other two look up from the tabletop. “Did she leave?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Sam nervously scratches at his arm.

“Sorry.” Dean spins his glass on the table, the whole day, everything that happened, weighing heavily on his mind, _like the almost confession…_

“That was our, uh, our chance…” Sam slowly walks to the table. “To stop Chuck.” Dean glances back at his brother. “But what Chuck showed me, what would happen if we trapped him- I believed him. I still do.”

Dean takes in the way his brother looks and just nods a bit. “Well, that’s good enough for me.” He picks up his drink and takes a swallow from it. He finally sets the glass down with a thud and Sam clears his throat. “Okay, uh, so, what now?”

Cas finally chimes in softly. “Well, Chuck’s gone, but…”

“He’ll be back.” Dean glances at Cas before looking back at Sam.

“If we can’t kill him or trap him…” Sam looks at both Cas and Dean and takes in an unsteady breath.

Dean steals another glance at Cas. “Well, then we find another way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean lies awake in bed, his thoughts still trampling around, keeping him up. His mind wanders back to the prayer he sent to Cas, and where he almost confessed to Cas when he found him. He remembers the way Cas seemed to just fall into his arms and his cheeks heat up slightly, though he scoffs to himself. He crosses his arms over his chest and forces himself to sleep, though its filled with uneasy dreams. He’s woken up a couple hours later, shooting up in the bed and looking around, surprised to find himself with his gun in his hand, pointed straight at Castiel. “Dean?” Cas’s voice is warm and soothing and Dean shakily lowers the gun. “Cas. What the hell are you doing in my room?”

“You shouted for me. I could feel something tugging at me, like a sort of...well, longing and then I heard you yell. So I came in here. Yet what I find is you encased in a nightmare which I finally managed to awaken you from.”

“I’m alright now Cas. You can- you can go back to whatever it was that you were doing.” He un-cocks the gun and places it back under his pillow before laying down again, recrossing his arms. Dean closes his green eyes, only to re-open them when the angel clears his throat. “Yes Cas?”

"I wish to speak to you about something Dean, if it is alright with you." Cas continues standing by the bed and Dean groans softly before sitting up and flicking the lamp light on. "What's this about Cas?"

Said angel sighs softly and looks up at the ceiling for a moment before sitting down on the edge of Dean's bed, his hands clasped in his lap. "Your prayer."

"My prayer?"

"When you prayed to me in Purgatory, I told you that I heard it all." Dean looks at him in confusion and Cas continues. "I heard every word, and it felt- felt almost as if you were longing for me." His sharp blue eyes meet Dean's own sleepy green ones that are widening in surprise.

"Longing? The hell are you going on about?" Dean reaches a hand down and scratches softly at his leg, looking away from his friend's piercing stare.

"Dean. Look at me please?" Emerald eyes flick back up to look at sapphire ones and Dean's breath stills when he takes in the soft look on Cas's face. "Yeah Cas?"

"When you pray to someone as deeply as you did, we're able to hear and feel everything. The anger, sadness, longing, worry…" He trails off for a moment. "Love."

Dean shakily lets out the breath that he seemed to be holding, still unable to say anything, frozen by Cas's words. "As for what we hear, well, we hear the prayer, but we can also pick up on words that go unsaid."

Dean flicks his tongue over his lip, realizing what Cas is hinting at. "So when you said you heard my prayer, you really heard _it_ too…" Cas nods and Dean sighs heavily, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry Cas, really, I didn't- I didn't mean for it to happen. It's been ingrained in me since I was a teen that I'd never be able to have that, that it's wrong to want that. And of fucking course the person that I go for is- is someone who can't- doesn't…" He trails off and he feels a calloused hand grip his chin and boy, that gets a reaction from his lower half. "Dean, don't put words in my mouth, especially because you don't know what's going through my head." Dean scoffs softly, shaking his head a bit. The grip on his chin gets tighter and he swallows heavily. "You don't understand, or know, what I feel. I feel much more deeply for you than you can imagine. Ever since I pulled you from Hell, your soul encased in my wings, there's always been a part of me that wanted to protect you from the beginning, even if I didn't realize it. Everything I've ever done Dean, I did it for you. I did it to protect you, to show you that someone cares. You make me _feel_ Dean, and honestly, I can't thank you enough for that." His grip loosens and his thumb brushes right under Dean's bottom lip. "When you chose to be with someone, I chose to make sure nothing happened to you. I wanted you happy even if that meant I was not."

"Cas…" Dean's voice comes out as a soft croak. "What exactly are you saying?" During the confession, they've somehow come closer together without realizing it. "I used to think that I'd never be able to say it, too ashamed that you would push me away...but the desperation I heard, I knew I had a chance." Castiel swallows lightly, and Dean watches his Adams apple bob.

"Say wha-" Dean is cut off by Cas sliding his hand from Dean's chin to the back of his head and pulling him into a kiss. Dean startles and tries to pull back but Cas is stronger and holds him there till Dean slowly relaxes into the kiss. When Dean fully un-tenses, he lets out a soft, shuddering breath, his eyes prickling as Cas gently coaxes his lips to move. He reaches up and grips the angel's wrist, though not to tug him away, but merely just to feel if he's truly there and this isn't some sort of fever dream.

His lips part softly to kiss Cas more fully and that little action rips a soft sound from the angel's throat and makes Dean shiver. Dean grips Cas's thigh with his other hand as they sweetly explore each other's mouths and the unique way the other tastes: Dean like whiskey and Castiel like honey and lightning. There's a charge in the air though Dean is a bit too tired to ignite it right now. They finally part, though not going far, taking in soft gulps of air, their foreheads pressed together. Neither of them break the calm silence that has settled over them both, content to breathe each other in.

When the silence is broken, it's Dean who speaks. "Do you mean it? Truly? Because I know how much I fuck up and how much I always push you away...I never mean to but it just comes out Cas…"

Cas shushes him softly and presses another light kiss to Dean's soft mouth. "Every word. When it comes to you Dean, I feel things much more strongly than I ever have with anyone else."

"Just-" A smile teases across Dean's lips. "Shut up and kiss me again then huh? Show me that you- ah!"

Cas pulls him close and kisses him again, this one with a bit more power. Outside of the room, in the hallway, Dean's soft laughter and Cas's low and rumbling voice between kisses can be heard as Sam quietly passes by the door and he smiles. He's truly happy for them both and wishes that it will stay that way. Dean deserves it. He deserves to finally be happy with the one he loves.

**Author's Note:**

> I know quite a bit of this is word for word the way it is in the episode, but I wanted it to be as true as possible to its canon-verse. If any of you have issues with that, that's fine. Don't go screaming at me for it, I needed it to set the tone for the rest of it.
> 
> Once again, I hope you enjoy this. Not my best work, but it ain't too bad either. Until next time!  
> ~Josie  
> If you're 18+ and want to come hang with some cool people, check us out https://discord.gg/profoundbond


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